Unveiling My Personal Battle: A Journey Through Anger, Frustration, and Healing
As I sit down to share a piece of my life with you, the persistent themes of anger and frustration dominate my thoughts. These emotions, like unwelcome guests, have lingered for too long, begging to be acknowledged and released. Today, I want to delve into this intricate web, specifically exploring how these emotions intertwine with relationships – those with family, friends, and colleagues.
In a recent conversation with a client, the haunting echoes of an unattended anger issue reverberated. He lamented not taking an anger management course two years ago, believing it might have salvaged his now shattered relationship. His story struck a chord, prompting me to address a crucial question: Can we truly manage anger, especially within the realm of our closest connections?
Unraveling the Complex Tapestry
This client wasn't inherently an angry person, but he found himself blaming others for his anger, caught in a cycle he couldn't break. Despite understanding the reasons behind his anger and the associated hurt, he felt powerless to prevent it from surfacing. This led us to explore the triggers – not just the apparent anger but the deeper wounds that fueled it.
Triggers, as I've come to understand, originate from various sources: childhood experiences, observed treatments, heard words, felt emotions, and the duration of exposure. Talking about these triggers might help, but merely scratching the surface without addressing the embedded emotions proves futile.
My Personal Odyssey Through Anger
Allow me to reveal a fragment of my own journey with anger – a journey that profoundly impacted my relationships, particularly with those I cherished the most.
- Growing up with an alcoholic and violent mother shaped my early experiences.
- My brother bore the brunt of my suppressed anger as it wasn't safe to express it openly.
- A constant feeling of being unloved and unwanted lingered from my mother's actions.
- The prospect of being sent to boarding school equated to punishment and intensified feelings of being unloved.
- My mother left when I was 14, leaving our family disconnected, struggling individually.
- Her eventual suicide at 17 cast a shadow over my formative years.
- Coping with these traumas led to years of excessive drinking.
- Marriage, motherhood, and divorce followed, each carrying its own set of challenges.
- My daughter's Asperger diagnosis added another layer to our shared struggles.
Each event left an indelible mark on my psyche, paving the way for anger and frustration to become my companions.
The Awakening Moment
Fast forward to the tipping point where I could no longer ignore the warning signs of my emotional struggle. Fear held me captive, preventing me from addressing the looming storm within. It took a crash, a burnout, and a realization that my life was spiraling out of control.
I found myself on what I now term "Long Service Leave from life." Bedridden and isolated, I had no choice but to confront the chaos within. This marked the commencement of my healing journey, a journey that I'll delve into more deeply another time.
The Poison Within
Returning to the theme at hand – anger and frustration – the pivotal step for anyone grappling with these emotions is to notice how they feel inside when the storm builds. It's a poison that infiltrates the mind and body, causing irreversible damage. The crucial questions arise:
- Do I want to soak in this poison, allowing it to devastate my body and mind?
- Are my thoughts prioritizing being right over the poison filling and killing my body?
- Do I like the person I become when consumed by anger?
- Is this emotional state in alignment with my true self?
- Am I choosing to be an angry person?
The Non-Negotiable Promise
Upon comprehending the self-inflicted damage, I made a non-negotiable promise to myself – I would not allow my mind to poison me. Challenges persisted, and perfection remained elusive, but my commitment to be clear, as light as possible, and aware of emerging issues has transformed my life.
The Blowing a Kiss Remedy
One of the most potent tools in my healing arsenal is what I affectionately call the "Blowing a Kiss" remedy. This simple yet powerful three-step process has been my daily companion for years:
1. Notice the Feeling: Become aware of the tension, breathlessness, headache, looping thoughts, or anxiety.
2. Choose to Be Free: Opt for freedom over entrapment; acknowledge that you can release these emotions.
3. Blow and Release: Part your lips, relax your jaw, and gently blow out until the feeling dissipates.
This technique, adaptable anywhere, anytime, liberates me from old patterns and beliefs, guiding me toward a higher vibrational state and restoring my connection with inner light.
Concluding Thoughts
As I share this personal odyssey, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. Make a non-negotiable promise to honor yourself, irrespective of challenges. Embrace the "Blowing a Kiss" remedy to release toxic emotions and witness the transformative power within you.
In unveiling the layers of anger and frustration, we empower ourselves to navigate relationships with clarity, compassion, and love. Our stories, though unique, echo the resilience of the human spirit, capable of transformation and healing.
